Maximizing Marriage in the 21st Century Seminar

Yesterday, my sister and I attended The Maximizing Marriage Seminar. It was advisable for couples, married or soon-to-be married. I'm still single but I have a bf who's working overseas. The seminar has discussed the challenges of marriage today and how to acknowledge the issues during these times.

So let me share to you what I've learned from the 2-hour free seminar. 

For singles out there, I also recommend to you to read this and try to reflect on it.

Focus

• Challenges of marriage 
• How to maximize marriage (addressing the challenges)

CHALLENGES

• increasing materialism and financial stress
• information overload overload (loss of focus)
• moral degradation

INCREASING MATERIALISM
It's more difficult than ever to survive, one income can't really support a family
- Normally requires the husband and wife working
- Expenses shoot up with children 

>Prepare while single, do not maximize your expenses, save up!!!

Draft estimate of expenses
rental for house                              6,000.00
electricity / water                           3,000.00
food (for 2 adults & 2 kids)             12,000.00
transportation                                  3,000.00
TOTAL                                              24,000.00
personal allowance   ??????
(includes internet, cellphone load, entertainment. etc)

 
More "WANTS" are being turned into "NEEDS"

Money is one of the most fought about issues in marriage

 
* INFORMATION OVERLOAD
"Overall data will grow by 50 times by 2020." --- IDC Study 2011

> We live in a time where we can write and upload everything in the web. 
- there is so much info being added
-  more knowledge is made public

FACT:
- 72 hours of video are uploaded to youtube.com every minute
 

Implication:
In your work and in your personal life, you are being asked to handle more and more information.

 -Every minute, one of your FB/twitter friends posts/shows something

Implication:
Loss of focus of what we want to do

Implication: Overstimulation; energy drained
>We will have less energy to be spent with our partners

Implication:
So many things to do, So little time.

LEARN TO SAY NO

How much time are you spending on building your marriage relationship?

MORAL DEGRADATION
-  So many avenues of temptation (TV, movies, billboards, internet, chatting, texting, emailing,facebook)  

• facebookcheating.com

 
 
If approving a friend request is a way for temptation, just avoid it.

Unfaithfulness is commonplace and is already given in society.

 Too much busyness, increases temptation

Idleness also increases temptations

The key is to prioritize/schedule or be purposeful with your time.

• Our schedule with partners should be our highest priority in terms of human relationships
• We tend to be spending more time with our children than with spouse, but our spouse also needs time.
• The best gift we can give to our children is to maximize our marriage. If this happens, they will have security and they will not be rebellious.

ACTIVITY: WHICH AMONG THE 3 CHALLENGES ARE YOU ESPECIALLY FACING RIGHT NOW?

Here is the same video shown to us during the seminar, this is a view on sex and marriage that everyone needs to see. We shouldn't expect it to be a fairy tale and we should always keep Christ in the center of it. Listen to these words, they're very powerful.

Some lines I had learned from the video:

• Try to become friends first before becoming lovers
• Pursue Jesus as a foundation
• Promise sustains the love (always remember the vow you commit to each other)

TIPS/SOLUTION/FOUNDATION:
*MATERIALISM & FINANCIAL STRESS

Time cannot be paid and time cannot be given back.

If you work to make money but you cannot have happiness, then what is your money for?
 

• Life is very difficult 
• Life is full of challenges
• Do not blame your husband, work as a team.
• Do not belittle all the little things that he/she is doing for you. 
• Try to compromise with each other for decisions

There are times that your partner cannot let go of something.
Example: Pastor cannot give up church/ministry. It is a vocation or a calling

 
TIME VERSUS MONEY 

• Time is more precious than money. You can earn lost money but you can never recover lost time. 
• Choice between good and better and best
• Your spouse and your children needs your time more than they need your money

Example: A teacher said: You do not know how much you break a child's heart if he earns an honor and you are not there to be proud of him.)
 
Spouses should only find comfort and intimacy in their partners

Some tips: 

• Try not to use a credit card if you cannot pay in full. 
• Try to avoid debts
• Strongly suggest otherwise before considering working as OFW
• (It is difficult for the children to grow up without any physical presence of the parents).
• Boys had become gays because there is no father image.
• If you had decided to work as an OFW, both parents should work and bring your children with you on the other country.
• There's a lot of work to do, but you need R-E-S-T. It will also have burden to health. It is written in the 7 commandments to work for 6 days and rest on the 7th day

Work SMART and learn to say NO.

LOSS OF FOCUS
"What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?" ---Mark 8:36 NIV

You will be judged according to what you do on earth.

1.) Have the right relationships with GOD?
2.) What will you do with your life? What is your purpose in life?
- Our purpose and marriage's purpose in life is to glorify GOD. If this is done, we will have God honoring and fulfilling marriage.
- Husbands should love their wife, the way Jesus loved the church
- Marriage should reflect God's glory. (Marriage is sacred, not just a piece of paper)

 
What is the purpose of marriage?
Ecclesiastes 12:13-14

• Filter what film you watch
• Be careful in relating to your ex's
• Focus on what is important. Read the Bible.
• Do not let your life go by
• Life is about obeying God.

 
*MORAL DEGRADATION
Judges 21:25

 
What to do?
Painting the Godly picture of marriage.

1 Corinthians 13- Let love be your Goal

If what you are doing is not out of love, you are just making a noise.
DO NOT MAKE NOISE, MAKE LOVE!

Love, Grace, and Forgiveness
(grace is undeserved kindness)
You need something to hold on to, we need grace

Kung sino ang pinakmahal mo, yun talaga ang makakasakit sa iyo, 
the only recipe is L,G,F

Foundations of the Speaker's marriage

• They are sinners and are not perfect but they love God and they fear God
  The best life is a life lived with his husband.
• A marriage without God is unimaginable.
• God's promise to marriage is wonderful.
  It is an everyday worthwhile decision.

ENDING VIDEO: The Marriage Prayer by : John Waller 


The seminar was hosted by Pastor Eusebio Yu and his wife Gracier Yu.

Gracier Yu together with the other participants at the Maximizing Marriage Seminar

Background

Maximizing Marriage is a site dedicated to equipping couples for a God-honoring & fulfilling marriage. Pastor Eusebio Yu is the founder and owner of MaximizingMarriage.com and head pastor of Christian Agape Fellowship. He is based in Cavite and happily married to his wife with two kids. 


Visit http://www.maximizingmarriage.com/ 
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/maximizingmarriage/